Absence and Realization of Love
by EvelynSera
Summary: Only when you lose something you realise how much it valued... An Arthur/Morgana story.
1. Chapter 1  Decisions

**First story ever...Try not to be too harsh on me...So here it is my first Arthur/Morgana fanfic...It is set after the end of season 2...**

**Rated M for future chapters**

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**1. Decisions**

The sun that burst into his room woke him up completely, not that he was able to get any sleep at all during the night. Her face was right in front of his eyes every time he closed them in hopes of sleeping...

He suffered from insomnia for the last two weeks. Not even Gaius' medicine could help him, well they didn't help her either, maybe Gaius needed to revalue his methods...

He got up from bed before Merlin had arrived to serve him breakfast. He felt tired and exhausted, like all energy was drained out of him when she was taken. He felt weak; it was unacceptable for him to feel weak. He was not a little boy, he was Prince Arthur, future King of Camelot, meant for greatness and glory, yet he was so weak over a woman's absence.

But she was no ordinary woman; she was his sister, his friend and, above all, she was the woman he would love for all his life. He had only realized now that she was not with him. Only now he understood what people mean when say that you value what you had only after you've lost it.

And he had lost her… Maybe forever…NO! He was Arthur Pendragon and he would anything in his power to find and bring her home with him. He was standing by the window when he made this promise.

"I will search the world and spend all the years of my life until I hold you in my arms again.", he said.

"I'm sure you will, Sire."

Arthur turned around to find Merlin looking at him with a huge smirk on his face, as if he caught him being naughty. Obviously Arthur was lost in his thoughts that didn't hear him enter.

"Cut the smile, Merlin, and where is my breakfast? Are you completely useless?"

Merlin just stood there looking at him like he expected him to scream out her name and admit his feelings. Well, Arthur would rather die than act this way.

"Are you deaf? Or would you like to spend your day in the stock? Go get my breakfast!"

"Of course, Sire." Merlin said and excused himself to bring the Prince's breakfast that was already lying on his table.

Merlin was and will always be Arthur's punching bag. He has accepted that. But his mood has gotten way worse than usual the last few days. Merlin knew why but what could he really do? Arthur was not the person who would talk about his feelings.

The Prince did feel a little guilty for being such a prat towards his friend but he needed someone to channel his frustration and anger. Lately he wasn't the man he thought he was. Training wouldn't take his mind away and no hunting trip was interesting enough to forget her.

"MERLIN!" he shouted. His servant was waiting behind the door and entered his chambers ready for the second round of insulting and chores.

"Get my horses ready. We're leaving in an hour!" he ordered.

"But we just returned from a hunting trip." the boy complained.

"Stop troubling your tiny, little brain with my schedule and get the horses ready!"

"Yes, Sire."

And with that he exited the room. Now Arthur had the peace he needed to think from where he would search for her. He had no idea where she could, no one had but still something called him to start this mission now. He would follow the words of the woman who had taken: "When the time comes, you will know the way." That's what the blonde sorceress had told long ago and that's what he would do. He would follow his…horse.

The next moment he was off to see his father. Not to take his permission on what he intended to do but to show him that he will not give up hope like he did. He was utterly disappointed by Uther. The King sent no one after her and he had forbidden Arthur too. Even though, he was supposed to protect her, he made no effort of finding her. He continued his life as if she never existed.

"I AM GOING NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY! HOW CAN YOU DO THAT TO HER? YOU GIVE UP ON HER WITHOUT EVEN TRYING TO RESCUE HER!" he had screamed to his father when Uther announced him his decision.

"WHAT KIND OF KING ARE YOU? WHAT KIND OF GUARDIAN? SHE ALWAYS THOUGHT YOU WERE CRUEL BUT I WOULD NEVER BELIEVE YOU WOULD HAVE FORSAKEN HER THIS WAY!"

After that outbreak, Arthur spend a week in the dungeon and was allowed a hunting trip the previous day with the "protection" of ten knights all ordered by the king to stop him from leaving. That hunting trip didn't last long.

Arthur entered the Great Hall to find his father discussing matters of state with his council.

"We need to talk." he said and waited.

"Leave us. We'll continue later on." said the King and the members of the council raise from their seats. The Great Hall was soon empty.

"What is it, Arthur?" the King demanded like he didn't know what was coming up next.

"I'm going on a searching mission." Arthur announced proudly.

The King sighed and looked at his son with tiring eyes.

"I… Very well… Go…Do whatever you wish."

Arthur didn't expect such a response, he wanted shouting and anger and fighting. He was disappointed by his father's reaction.

"I will go alone. Only me and Merlin." he said and left the room.

On the way to his room, he came across with Gwen. She greeted him but he ignored her. When he passed by her, he could see the pain in her eyes but there was nothing he could do right now. He belonged to HER.

Arthur visited Gwen two days after he was set free from the dungeons. He went to her house to see her in hopes of remembering why he loved her so much. So much that made him oblivious towards the woman he knew he loved now. He got in and hugged her and kissed her with passion hoping that Gwen could make his pain go away but she couldn't. How could she when he was dreaming of a different body in his arms, a different pair of lips on his, different set of eyes looking at him? He knew he was being unfair to Gwen with his behaviour but there was nothing he could do. Arthur mumbled something like "I'm sorry" and "Forgive me but…" and Gwen had looked at him with the same pain in her eyes. Pain that only meant that she understood what was going on inside of him.

But that was over. He would never allow another woman take his love away from HER. Never.

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**So that's the first chapter. **

**It may contain some grammar and spelling errors (sorry for that).**

**Feel free to ask anything you don't understand.**

******Please review to help me become better.**

******Next Chapter: 2. Dreams**


	2. Chapter 2 Dreams

**So here is Chapter 2... Hope you like it…Please review so that I know you want more of it…**

**Hope you like as the first one!**

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Her eyes flew open. She was used to her nightmares. She had accepted the fact that this was her gift and it was given to her so that she can protect him. Even though she didn't enjoy the theme of her dreams; his death always made her cry and run after him to stop him from a killing mission.

Not that he would ever listen to her. No, he was far too proud to hear a crying woman's pleads and warnings. So every time she had to watch him arrive wounded back to Camelot thanking his guardian angel for saving him once again. Only now she knew who that guardian angel was. Merlin.

But tonight she hadn't dreamt of Arthur facing a monster or being involved in a deadly fight. She saw him in the forest waiting. Not moving. Just waiting…

He had his armor on but his face was calm and peaceful. His expression screamed happiness. How much had she missed that face? The last time she saw him he was strangling to protect Camelot. She loved that face of joy because that was the face of the man she loved since she was a little child.

She didn't love Prince Arthur, future King of Camelot, but Arthur. And she had been so good at hiding it, using bitter words and rivalry to keep her feelings locked away. She couldn't tell why she was such a coward over this. Of course she could. Rejection….and Gwen.

Arthur's feelings for Gwen had cost her a lot. But she knew this would happen. He was a charming, handsome man with power and status. However she always hoped she would be the one to stand beside him as his queen when Uther was dead. After some time, she accepted her fate and was happy that he had found someone good and honest and kind to love him.

But what was Arthur doing alone in the forest? What was he waiting for? Her inner self told her what she most wanted to hear: "You, idiot. Who else?" Could it be that Arthur would have come looking for her? Risking his life facing a powerful witch to find her?

And then there was fear…Arthur would be wandering alone in the forest; an easy target for Uther's enemies, Morgause included. She would love to kill Arthur and then drag his body to Uther's steps just to see the pain in his eyes.

She would protect Arthur from her sister. Morgause could do whatever she wanted to with Uther; she would help her killing and destroying him but she was not to touch Arthur. With all the power she was gifted Morgause would be dead before even thinking to lay a finger on Arthur.

She would protect him from all enemies. That had always been her destiny. That's the reason she had those dreams. She had to endanger her life every day when she was living in Camelot to warn Arthur of dangers. That's what her dreams would bring to her; death if she wasn't careful.

It was decided. She was going to find him and if she was what he was looking for, she would be more than glad to see his face, touch his hands, explain and confess her secrets. All her secrets. Because she may not be given another chance to. Another chance to say "I love you" to the man that truly deserves it.

She got up from her bed. She looked for Morgause in that awful castle she called home. It was nothing but the remains of a what could be a great castle, dark and scary. Moss had climped up all the walls and the air smelled a lot like rottenness and dust. As if no one has stepped in this place for a hundred years. That smell made her feel sick.

This cage was even worse than Camelot. At least there she could go for a walk in the city, talk to people. In Camelot she had friends, Gwen and Merlin, even Gaius. And of course in Camelot she had HIM. He was more than enough to make her feel happy.

She found her over a giant book, mumbling an ancient spell. She noticed her coming and looked up to her.

"Well, good morning, my little sister. How are you feeling today? Better?" she said, hugging her and examining her face. However, what she saw in her eyes did not please her. "What's wrong? You look upset. Are you in pain?" she really looked worried.

Morgause was referring to Merlin's poison. Even though she had treated her and saved her life, Morgause had warned her that she might feel stomach aches and dizziness. She was lucky to be alive.

"I'm going out", she said.

"What for?" she said. "Is there anything you need? Name it and you'll get it."

"I'm going out. Don't try to stop me" she said furious with Morgause's efforts to keep her locked up in this ruin.

"What have you seen?" she demanded. She could tell when her sister had seen another nightmare. She now feared what she would do to protect that little boy.

"He is searching for me. I'm going to find him and send him away." she lied. She could lie to Morgause all she had to do is mix her words with revenge and enemies and Uther. "I'm going to convince him that nothing he does or says is going to bring back to Camelot. It's time to understand that I will be his greatest enemy."

Morgause was more than convinced by her excuse. "Yes, my sister. I promise you Uther and Arthur Pendragon will suffer for all they have done to us and our people. I will destroy Uther and Camelot. I will make his magnificent castle look like this one!"

She didn't want to hear any more of her evil plans. And she didn't care what would come to Uther. Morgause's plans about the King couldn't make her happier. If she had the chance she would kill him with no hesitation. But when Uther was gone, Arthur would rule the kingdom and no one would attempt to change that.

Then, another thought crossed her mind. Merlin. He would be with Arthur; that was certain. What would she do with him? She still hadn't decided what she felt about his betrayal. She would love to have him at her mercy, screaming and begging her not to kill him but she knew all to well that he was too strong for her.

Even though, Morgause has been teaching her magic and she could see that her powers could one day challenge those of Merlin, she still had a long way to go. One day there would most definitely be a fight between them.

She decided immediately; she would ignore him, pretend he's not there. Arthur is way more important than her hate towards Merlin.

She went to the stables and got her white horse ready. She didn't really know where exactly Arthur would be but she had a feeling they would find each other.

"Call my name if you need my help. I'll be right there" Morgause whispered in her head. Of course she would be there. She would kill Arthur and Merlin if she asked too.

But this trip had nothing to do about Merlin or Morgause. It was about Arthur. It was about her unconditional love for him. She needed him. These last weeks had been a torture for her. Not seeing him. Not being able to run to his hug when she wanted to; not that she would such a thing if she was still in Camelot.

But most of all she craved his love. She wanted/needed/demanded/prayed for his love. She wanted him to hold her and whisper "I love you" in her ear. She wanted to respond to his confession with the exact same words. And then crush her lips to his to make that moment the

happiest moment of her life.

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And there is chapter 2…So I try hard not to use Morgana's name but I fear it might be a little confusing...**

**Feel free to ask if you don't understand something and PLEASE PLEASE review so that I know you want more of this…**

**Next Chapter: 3. Search**


	3. Chapter 3 Search

**Glad you liked Chapter 2...**

**Well, Chapter 3 was way trickier to write than the first two...Hope you like it, too...**

**And thank you for all your reviews!

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**3. Search**

They've been riding for two days straight. Merlin had already fallen off his horse twice but each time Arthur would make him get up and continue riding. It was completely ridiculous to move non-stop; Arthur knew that, but that was the only way to have his mind at ease. He was searching for her, even if that meant that he would never sleep or rest again in his life. Like they had set a rendezvous and if he was a second late, she would disappear. A thud behind him disturbed his thoughts.

Merlin had fallen off his horse. Again. He was actually sleeping on the ground. Arthur felt sorry for him, he was horrible the last few days and now he didn't leave him rest. He got off his horse and approached his servant. He let out a sigh and took a blanket from Merlin's backpack to cover him. He could at least be comfortable; Arthur wouldn't let him sleep a lot. Maybe three hours. No, two.

He tied down the horses and went to find something for them to eat. This way he could keep himself busy. In an hour, he was back with nothing. He couldn't focus on the hunt. He hoped Merlin packed enough food because the great hunter inside him was obviously on vacation.

"Were where you?" Merlin shouted "I was worried"

"Take it easy, Merlin. I went for a walk and…hunting" he said.

"Well, then. Our meal seems delicious and lavish, Sire." the servant said mocking him for his nonexistent quarry.

Mocking him was not a good idea. It never is. "Did you have a nice sleep?"

"I could use some more"

"Good because you won't get any for three days!" he ordered. "And prepare some food!"

"Yes, Sire" Merlin said cursing his destiny.

They ate and then they were back on the move. They had no idea where they were going and Merlin had made the mistake to ask Arthur if he happened to know. His response was not exactly appropriate for a prince.

But honestly Arthur kept wondering how he would find her if he didn't know where she was. In his mind, he would know which way to go or where to wait for her when they had reached that place.

Their trip continued and he started thinking what he would tell her when he found her. That he loved her? She would laugh at him. That he wanted her to come back to Camelot with him? She would laugh at him even more. She hated his father; now he knew that.

So what would he do? Force her to come with him? It was tempting but he could never. He wanted her to be with him because she wished to, not because he pointed a sword at her.

Would she be happy to see him? Would she try escape the moment she saw him? He couldn't tell. How much simpler things would be if he had protected her that day at the castle. If he had realized his feelings a month ago. He would be warm and kind to her. She would feel protected and not trapped inside Camelot.

And eventually he would confess his love to her. She would become his Queen; as a Queen should be. Strong and beautiful and gracious and self-opinionated. A Queen that would challenge him and guide him to make the right decision.

She would become a Queen for the whole kingdom to be proud of.

They stopped again after a day's road. Merlin was quite surprised that they were going to take a break.

It was a few hours before dusk and the whole forest seemed so beautiful. The sun would soon set. And then something clicked inside him…

"I'm going to-…you know-…just-…right back" he mumbled leaving Merlin to their campsite. He wondered around the woods not knowing where he is going or why he is going there. The sun was about to set and it had painted the forest in the most beautiful colors.

And then he saw HER there. Making her way towards him. And she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen in his entire life. She stopped and looked at him and he knew that he could easily faint when he looked in her eyes. Emerald green; so vivid and beautiful. He refused to blink horrified that she will disappear in front of him and he could see her anymore. His heartbeat fastened and his breathing became uneven.

He could stand there and admire her forever but his desire to hold her made him take a step forward. His body was aching and he wanted to eliminate the distance between them. Make his way over there and hold the woman he desired the most in his arms.

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She hadn't been riding for too long when she recognized the place of her dream. It was a small clearing with tall trees surrounding it. But the time was not right. In her dream it was dusk, the sun had set and the forest changed its colors the way a woman had changed clothes.

It was here where he would come for her. It was here where they would finally meet. This clearing would be their meeting and farewell point. There she would experience the greatest joy and sorrow. She would see him, touch him, hug him and then she would have to say goodbye and leave him.

But was she strong enough to? It would be the most horrible crime committed by anyone in this world. But she had to be strong. Deny him if anything else didn't work.

She had to stop thinking like this. She hadn't even seen him yet and she already made plans how to sent him away. Her nerves were like tiny little strings. She had an odd feeling in her stomach and she could feel her pulse, loud and fast in her veins.

Time seemed to have halt. The hours seemed like centuries. She wanted to fall asleep just to see his face again; as if she was addicted to it. But she didn't dare to close her eyes in fear of waking up in Morgause's castle and the last day being a dream.

She kept thinking of him and all the time they had spent together when they were little children; all their games and the teasing and the quarrels and the fights and the light flirtation between them. A wide smile spread through her face. How much simpler things were when they were children. When she didn't have to worry about her magic and Uther's actions if he ever discovered about it.

She would tell Arthur about her gift. She didn't want to have secrets from him and, even though she was a little bit afraid of his reaction, she knew that he, of all people, would not hurt her. He was Arthur; so different from his father. He would be compassionate and caring; finally realizing why she was so distant and cold. She had other things on her mind.

She didn't know how but the setting around her started to shift into the one of her dream. The anticipation made her head spin. Her breathing caught up and reflexively she got up and started walking towards their meeting point; she had been sitting a bit further to have time to prepare herself.

She reached the start of the clearing and stopped feeling a set of eyes on her. She lifted hers from the ground and saw HIM there. She saw his face; the face of her dream, a face that screamed happiness. Happiness because she was there. She stared into his eyes; realizing how much she had missed the blue in them. It was like she had never seen him before in her life; like all those years she was blind and only now she saw him as he really was.

He took a step and stopped. Instinctively her hand rose a little like she could touch him even though he was several feet away.

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Her lips shaped around his name and she loved the way it sounded in her ears.

"Arthur"

And he too was ecstatic to hear her call his name; it was like angels singing to him. Her voice pierced right through him into his soul. He had never felt so weak and exposed in his life.

His lips shaped around her name and he loved the way it sounded in his ears.

"Morgana"

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**WooHoo I did it! I finished it!**

**Sorry for the cliffhanger but…**

**I'm soo happy that this chapter is over…Moving on to the next one now…**

**I'm not very good at description (sorry for that!) :)**

**Hope you like it…and please review to tell me your opinion on it…**

**Next chapter: 4. Confessions**


	4. Chapter 4 Confessions

**A gift for everyone: (it's all about Arthur/Morgana and I thought they were great...)**

**{! I don't own any of them...the videos belong to their creators!}**

.com/watch?v=_EqNLq_VIS0&playnext=1&videos=geGruIwlxTw

**and this:**

.com/watch?v=kKQo0zZT_0Y&videos=geGruIwlxTw

**and this:**

.com/watch?v=ZEyl_sgsVpc&videos=geGruIwlxTw

**Anyway back in the business :) here goes Chapter 4**

**Remember to review!

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**4. Confessions**

"Morgana" he said and she was the happiest woman in the world hearing him whisper her name as if it was the dearest thing to him. And, to speak the truth she was the dearest and most sacred thing he had in his life.

Their eyes did all the talking; sky blue and emerald green. They stood there but eventually their bodies' longing pushed them in each other's arms. Arthur's hands on her waist; bringing her closer to him and Morgana's around his neck. Their embrace grew tighter like they wanted to become one; never to be parted from each other again.

Arthur wished he wasn't on his armor. It was just getting in the way. He wanted to feel her warm body and her touch on his skin. Just to be absolutely sure he was not dreaming. She hid her face in his chest wanting to stay there until the end of time. He touched her soft hair smelling the intoxicating fragrance knowing that she was real.

He put his hands on both sides of her face and lifted it upwards so that he could see her eyes again. How much he had missed them. Their gazes locked and whispered all the things they wanted to say to each other.

"_I love you." _

"_I want you."_

"_I missed you."_

"_Forgive me."_

And then Arthur decided that it was too painful not to have her lips on his. He leaned towards her and planted a soft and hesitant but meaningful kiss on her full red lips. She froze in place; she didn't expect this.

Their lips parted and that was even more painful; excruciating even. He searched her eyes for rejection and she searched his for regret. They couldn't find any. How could they?

The next moment they were one again. This time the kiss was neither soft nor hesitant; it was fierce and passionate. She let out a moan that was echoed by his moments later. She wanted him to be hers and this kiss only proved that. She wanted more…Much more…

She pushed herself tighter on his body and he took that as a signal to explore her mouth with his tongue. The sensation was more than they could handle. Their breathing had caught up and their hearts were beating at the same crazy tempo. She needed a break or she would collapse right there in his arms. He sensed her hesitation and pushed her face away from his.

Her eyes were closed and he caressed her face. Morgana opened her eyes to find him staring down at her. When their gazes met, she was sure she could see right throug to his soul. She knew that that's what he saw too. The long silence was killing them but it seemed they couldn't find what to say. Only one thing seemed fitting.

"I love you" she whispered to him and for a moment she was afraid. Afraid of rejection. But his eyes were warm and kind and a huge smile appeared on his face making him even more beautiful.

"As I love you" he whispered back to her and brought her lips to his for another round of passionate kisses. "I can't believe this is happening" he said after quite some time between their kisses.

She could only nod in agreement when he started caressing her neck. His hands were soft; as soft as a knight's hands can be, and every touch was followed by a kiss. Her heart was hammering; she was sure he could hear. He continued planting hot kisses on her neck and near her ear sending another current of desire right through her and her eyes rolled back to her head.

This was so much more than they were both used to. Back in Camelot just being close to him made her crazy with desire. Every small touch was too much for her to handle. But now there they were confessing their love to each other and doing way more than that…

When they decided they had enough of each other for now, he took her hand and lead her near a tree where they could sit and talk…There were so many things they needed to say to each other besides their feelings. Arthur sat down by the tree and Morgana lay on him. She had her hand in his and he played with her hair kissing her forehead every now and then.

For a moment, everything was as it should have always been between them. They could be like this; no worries just being happy in each other's arms.

"I want you to come back with me" Arthur said aware of her stillness when he spoke the words, "but I know you won't."

"You know I can't" she said apologetically.

"Why not?" he said. He was desperate to keep her with him. "Because of my father? You've been dealing with him all your life."

She had no answer to that. The reason she couldn't go back was her powers. Uther would have her executed if he found out. But Arthur didn't know that she had magic.

"I must tell you something." she said hesitantly. She was still unsure of Arthur's reaction to her secret. "I have magic" she admitted.

He didn't know why but he wasn't surprised. Maybe because he always knew there was something special with Morgana. He took in a deep breath. She was frozen in his arms; afraid to look at him; afraid that he would have the look on his face; afraid that he would look at her as if she was dangerous as if he would despise her.

He lifted her up so that she was sitting between his legs and turned her face so that she would face him. Her eyes were fixed on his chest. He put a hand under her chin and lifted her face to see her eyes. He could see in them fear and pain.

"Your dreams?" he said and she nodded. He took a deep breath.

"You really believe that would change anything?" Arthur said smiling at her.

"It changes everything." she said; she was more afraid of her powers than he was.

"Not to me. You are and will always be Morgana; my Morgana and I will always love you more than my own life. I could never do anything or let anyone hurt you. You are more precious to me than my own life, Morgana."

Her eyes were full with tears. He had just said the words she most wanted to hear. She threw herself in his arms happier than ever. That was the man she loved. Arthur. Untouched by his father's cruelty and hatred for magic. For him she would always be Morgana not an evil witch.

He smiled with her reaction and whispered how much he loved her and that he should have realized his feelings sooner filling her eyes with even more tears. She looked up to him and this time she was the one that placed her lips on his. Arthur could feel her tears on his cheeks and for a moment he thought he would cry to; not out of grief or sorrow. These moments were filled with so much happiness that he could explode.

"I want to be yours" she said. She hoped he could recognise the meaning underneath her words. Thankfully, he did. His breathing became even more irregular. He looked deep into her eyes to see if she really wanted this and all he could see was pure desire rushing through them. He took her mouth on his and slowly laid her down on the grass.

So they lay there; becoming one under the starry sky; a dream fit for a king and his queen…

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**A/N: I know I said in Chapter 1 that it was going to be M Rated but I changed my mind (sorry, well I suppose it kinda is..I don't know...u decide...) :)**

**Also for those who wonder about Merlin and how he didn't go out looking for Arthur I have to say that he did come at a time only to find Arthur and Morgana together and went back quietly!(I thought that it would spoil the romantic moment between them if I mentioned Merlin out of the blue)**

**There next chapter will be the last one and it will be a lot smaller than my previous ones….**

**PLEASE PLEASE review to tell me what you think of this chapter…**

**And check out the videos I recommended^^^^**

**Next Chapter: 5. Farewell**


	5. Chapter 5 Farewell

**OK! Time for the finale...Hope it's good...**

**Read this:****.net/s/6224418/1/The_Heart_of_the_Sorceress**** (it's cool and it's ArMor)**

**Please REVIEW on the whole story...**

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**5. Farewell**

They lay there in each others arms...Embraced tightly...Just wishing time could stop so these moments remain unchanged in the years to come...They hoped they could be together like this for more than a night...They wished they could be together forever...They wished there was nothing that would make them go separate ways...

The previous night was only a fraction of what their lives could be…They could have this every day of their lives…They could have each other but they simply couldn't…

Morgana had fallen asleep on his bare chest. Even though, he had her right there in his arms where she belong where she should always be he couldn't sleep. Maybe it was the fact that he knew what would follow dawn and he just couldn't cope with it; not after a night like this.

Time obviously didn't want to cooperate. The forest around him started getting its dawn colors. Bringing the moment he feared the most closer to him. A tear escaped his eye and he held Morgana tighter on his body. It hurt; it hurt a lot to have happiness in your life and then consciously let it slip through your fingers.

The sun was up and soon she would be awake. She would leave him and he would have to be strong and understanding. That was not the first time he wished he wasn't who he was but it certainly was when he most wanted to. If he wasn't a prince, he could be with the woman he loved. He felt the urge to scream; to take out of his system all this pain he felt.

He sensed Morgana waking up and he put aside all his pessimistic thoughts; this wouldn't be easy for her either. He put on a smile hoping he could trick her. He should know better.

She felt the sun's light hitting her face. She smelt his masculine scent and felt his warm body against hers and she knew where she was. She belonged there in his strong arms; never letting go. His fingers were trailing her exposed back and she opened her eyes realizing that what she had lived last night was not a dream. He was really there.

She sat up straight so that she could really see his face. He was smiling a fake smile but their eyes met his smile became real and vivid.

"Good morning, my love" he said. At least, he could enjoy what there was left of their encounter.

"Good morning" she said and planted a kiss on his lips. "Did you a nice sleep?"

He avoided her question and kissed her back with urgency as if the world would be destroyed if he didn't. She responded to his kiss and soon it was like last night all over again.

"We can't" she said heartbroken.

"But…" he protested but she already had a hand on his lips.

"Let's not make things harder than they already are" Morgana said standing up and picking up her clothes from the ground. Arthur did the same and soon they stood there fully clothed; staring at each other.

She thought she knew pain when she was taken away from him; when he saw him fighting for his life at his many battles; every time he had a near death experience and she was left crying in her chambers praying he got better. All this had nothing on this very moment. Tears framed her face and she hid in his arms again.

He cupped her face as he did last night and gave her a kiss that could have set the forest on fire. A kiss that would be remembered by both. Her tears seemed to have no end. He brushed them away from her eyes so that he could look into them; get lost in them. They stood there trying to find the power to leave…

"It isn't always going to be this way. We only have to wait and things will change" he said desperate to know that he would see her again some time. "When my father's time comes, we can be together again."

"I'll come to you when your reign begins, my king" she said with hope and anticipation in her green eyes. "If you can wait for me; if you don't seek comfort in another woman's lips" she said teasingly; she knew he belonged to her.

"I'll try, my lady" Arthur said smiling. It sounded hilarious to ever look at another woman they way he looked at Morgana right now.

She smiled back and brushed her lips on his for the last time. She slowly escaped his strong arms backing away with tears in her eyes.

"I'll be waiting for ever if I have to" Arthur screamed at her when she turned her back on him.

And they took different paths giving promises to make these two paths intertwine in the future.

And they took different paths taking each other's heart with them.

And they took different paths leaving each other half and empty until the day they could be together again.

And they took different paths loving each other more than any mortal could love another.

* * *

She walked the familiar streets where she grew up knowing exactly where she was going. People would recognize her in the street. Some even bowed. "My lady" the guards at the gates said letting her pass surprised by her presence and amazed by her beauty. It had been more than seven years since she last stepped foot in Camelot.

His death was unexpected. How hadn't she seen it? How had she missed that? Now that her powers had grown she could see anything that was yet to come. But her powers betrayed her in this. If only she knew earlier.

She walked through the market ignoring the people who stared at her heading for the big white castle. The guards tried to stop her; fools she could have them dead with a word. They seemed young; they didn't know her.

"I'm the Lady Morgana" she said. They had heard stories about her; Uther's ward and Arthur adopted sister. They stepped aside.

She made her way outside the doors of the Great Hall. She stood there waiting to find her strength to face what was inside that room.

She opened the doors and made her big entrance. There was only one man in the room; his face was turned to the windows behind the King's throne. He turned around to face her only to freeze in place with the visitor.

He hadn't changed much if you excluded the beard and the small wrinkles around his eyes that were barely visible.

He just stood there unable to move or to speak. She went closer; their eyes meeting.

She was so beautiful; more beautiful than he could remember. And the eyes. Her gorgeous and vivid green eyes.

"My Queen" he said and they both knew that was her place; beside him as his Queen.

* * *

**DaDa! That's it, guys. It's finished. My first story is completed. I couldn't be happier!**

**Well, it turned out to be bigger than I expected! :)**

**Thank you all 4 your support and your encouraging reviews!**

**Let me know what you think!**

**P.S. I know the "**gave her a kiss that could have set the forest on fire.**" is a quote from Twilight but what could I do? There is no parthenogenesis these days :):)**


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